Wednesday, February 11, 2009


We never outgrow our need for touching. The very first experience we have with another human being is being touched. We learn about love and pleasure by being stroked, caressed, held, and rocked. Baby animals die if the mother does not lick and stroke them. Even human babies sometimes do not survive if they are deprived of tender loving care. Toddlers, taking their first steps quickly, run back to their mother’s sheltering arms to be picked up and caressed. The imprint of these first experiences with physical intimacy or the lack of it never leaves us.
You lovers spend countless hours touching and holding each other. All the love songs of every generation say hold me, take me in your arms, let me hold your hand.

Most other relationships require that we keep our distance - hands off- don’t touch, for most of us the only opportunity we have to touch and be touched is with our lover - our husband or wife. Children and old people need touching too. Yet how much we sometimes neglect touching or being touched.

Often touching is restricted to a few moments of lovemaking in bed instead of being an important part of our lives. In the course of my work, I often hear patients express how much they want and need to be caressed, stroked, and held. Men often fear to express their need for touching because they fear it will be interpreted as passivity.
Both men and women, young and old, should keep in touch... You never outgrow your need for touching!